Ay-O, Vinnie the C here, how you doin'? Welcome to the first edition of Vinnie's Temple of Shame. It's kinda like the Temple of Doom, only with beer and coldcuts. Since this is the first time I'm doin' this, we gotta a lot of ground to cover. There's been a lot of jerkasses out there in the world lately and I got somethin' to say to some of them.
Michael Steele. Welcome to the TOS, Mikey. I have a feeling you may become a regular resident. It takes real cajones to tell a woman whose mother died from cancer because she couldn't afford insurance or treatment, "Congratulations, you'll probably make the news." As if she's only outraged about her mother dying just so she could make the Keith Olberman show. There's a special circle of hell waiting for guys like you. Trust me, I know.
In the same vein we have Lynn Jenkins of Kansas, belittling a waitress who can't afford health care for herself or her son. Apparently, all she needs is to "grow up" and she'll magically be able to afford health coverage. So much for the Republicans trying to be the party of the people. I guess 'Elizabeth the Waitress' doesn't have quite the same ring as 'Joe the Plumber'.
(By the way, here's what Vinnie doesn't get. If Congress passes a health care bill with an included public option, how is the government introducing socialized medicine? The public option isn't free as people would have to pay for it. It would hopefully stimulate some price competition with private insurers, which could only benefit the consumer. That sounds pretty capitalist to me, but what the fuck do I know? My brother's the omnipotent one.)
Any of the people who are angry and upset that President Obama would dare give a televised talk to children about education. It's come to this? Really? It's not as if the Pres is gonna give elementary school kids a stump speech about healthcare and cap and trade. He's gonna encourage kids to work hard, stay in school, and be good citizens. People seriously have a problem with this? Life is too short for this crap. Obama is the President, whether you voted for him or not. Who better to speak to kids about the benefits of education then the leader of the free world?
Michael Scheuer. This former CIA guy is the one who said that the best thing that could happen to the US was to be attacked by terrorists again. Seriously. And now he's saying the president is giving aid and comfort to the enemy. Sheesh. And I thought I was paranoid.
Glenn Beck. Oh man. Where did this guy come from? I asked my brother about Glenn and he just winced and walked away----across Lake Superior. I've seen a lot of shitheads in my time, but this guy . . . I really got nothin' to say about him other then the fact that he's completely fuckball batshit insane.
Texas. Go ahead, secede. You do realize that there's no way in holy hell that the federal government is going to let you keep all the military hardware scattered across Texas's various military bases, dontcha? The US will take all that shit back and make Puerto Rico the 50th state just so they won't have to change any of the flags. I give it about a month before Texas is part of Mexico. Take Alaska with you and Sarah Palin really will be able to see Russia from her house. It'll be all around her after they take over.
That's all for today. There's still plenty more douchenozzles out there, but I'm out of coldcuts. I'm going to a strip club.
Remember Sinners:
Hey kids, now you can e-mail questions and comments to Vinnie the Christ at vinniethechrist@gmail.com. Make sure you have your parents' permission.
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