Stupid is as Stupid Does

I thought this was a made up story at first, but apparently it's not. Some asshat named Mark Krikorian has evidently decided that it's reprehensible that Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor has a funny last name that's hard for him to pronounce. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Prickorian-er, sorry, Krikorian should go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. If you're too stupid to pronounce someone's name the way it should be pronounced, perhaps you need to rethink your present career path and do something a little simpler. I suggest crash test dummy. He won't have to pronounce any tough words or deal with any brown people.

See, the beautiful thing about America, Mark, is that we're home to all kinds of people who have brought their cultural heritage here and joined in the great melting pot that is this nation. If you can't get with the program, why don't you get the fuck out?

Travesty of Justice: Daniel Choi

This is one of the most retarded things I've ever heard of. Lt. Daniel Choi, West Point graduate and Arab linguist is being released from the Army due to his sexual orientation. This is completely fucked up. Every year, the Armed Forces lose thousands of men and women like Lt. Choi simply because we can't allow them to be who they really are. Here is a decorated soldier and an Arab linguist, something the military desperately needs more of, and he's not allowed to serve the country he loves. Who cares if he's gay? He's obviously a skilled soldier and patriot, as are many homosexual men and women. Numbers have shown that enlistment is dropping, so why would the military willfully turn away from an untapped source of soldiers? President Obama, Congress, I implore you to reverse this archaic law and allow these fine Americans to serve their country without having to be deceptive.

Knights Out did a phone in protest yesterday, but I imagine you can still call the White House and offer your support for Lt. Choi. The White House Switchboard number is: 202-456-1111

Gay Marriage Should Be Federally Mandated

I'll confess, I don't get why gay marriage is such a big deal and legal hot potato. To me, it's a pretty simple issue. We have a segment of the American people who are being denied legal rights to which they are entitled as American citizens. That is wrong and should be addressed. There needs to be a federal law legalizing gay marriage. Any state law denying gay marriage is unconstitutional and should be stricken from the books. I sympathize with the religious folks, but the fact of the matter is that this is a nation based on laws and rights, not based on religion. President Obama was right on when he said this is not a Christian Nation. America is a nation made up of many faiths. We have laws that protect that faith, but in turn protect us from being ruled by any one faith-see the First Amendment. There is no legal reason to deny homosexual men and women the right to join with their partner. Denying these people the same partner benefits heterosexual unions enjoy is unconstitutional and a violation of their rights as citizens of this country.

Bu-but the Bible Says It's Wrong. The Bible says a lot of things. In Leviticus, the Bible says not to eat shellfish or not to wear clothes woven from multiple kinds of cloth. There are also elaborate rituals described to purify oneself after coming in contact with a menstruating woman. As far as I know, none of these procedures are being followed today. Why do Christians feel the need to cherrypick this one law, that "man shall not lay down with man" out of this jumble of confusing and sometimes contradictory ordinances? If you're going to enforce the one, you have to abide by the others as well. Until I see modern day Christians wearing sackcloth and sacrificing bulls to purify themselves after touching a woman on the rag, then you can just keep your "Adam and Eve, Not Adam and Steve" signs to yourself, thank you very much. To do otherwise is hypocrisy.

The Slippery Slope Argument. This is my favorite and the most stupid of all the arguments against gay marriage/gay acceptance. The idea behind the slippery slope is that if we allow the gay lifestyle and marriage to be accepted, then we will have to allow pedophiles and other perverts to have rights and privileges as well. This is patently false and allow me to explain why: A gay marriage law needs to be worded as to allow two consenting adults permission to marry and be afforded all the rights inherent to that condition.

Wording the law in this way prevents the problems Christians seem convinced will follow from allowing their homosexual fellow Americans to have the same rights they themselves enjoy. People should not be allowed to marry children. I don't care how much you think you "love" a child. A child is not a consenting adult and thus it would be illegal to marry a child. People should not marry animals. You may love Barney the Wonder Sheep and Barney may love you (but I doubt it). Barney is not a consenting adult and therefore you can't marry him. Ditto for your toaster, your car, or any of the other bizarro things Christians seem to believe gay marriage will lead to. Say it with me again: consenting adults. It's amazing how many "problems" those two words can solve.

One thing this law would open the door for is bigamy. So long as the parties involved are all consenting adults, I could give a rat's ass. If you're stupid enough to marry more than one person, feel free to enjoy all the hassle that comes with it. Just as long as you're not living in a commune somewhere, breeding girl children to marry them off to sweaty Humbert Humberts at the age of 14, I have no problem with you.

And finally, let me suggest to you that I don't think anyone wants to have a gay pride parade down the aisle of your local church. If your church doesn't want to allow a gay marriage to take place on its premises, it shouldn't have to. That handy First Amendment protects you in that regard. I respect your right to disapprove of gay marriage, but I don't believe any church or religion should have the power to make laws that decide the fate of the citizens of this country, especially those not part of that religion. It's fine if you personally want to live your life by those laws, but the rest of the country shouldn't be forced to go along with you. That's why most of our ancestors left their countries of origin to begin with, to forge a republic free of state sanctioned religion.