Friday, July 22, 2016

Another Day, Another Shooting

There's attacks going on in Munich now.  Anyone else suspect that Donald Trump is somehow orchestrating these attacks in order to frighten the US into electing him?  The more these happen, the more I begin to wonder.  You know as soon as the situation is contained, he'll be spewing his anti-Muslim schtick to whatever network will listen.  I think my sadness and frustration is just making me paranoid.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

The End of Civility

It's been quite some time since I've posted here.  Four years to be exact, around the last time this goofball country was in election mode.  I thought things were bad back then and was afraid Mitt Romney would be elected.  The American people surprised me by reelecting Barack the Shock, but the rhetoric of hate has only magnified in the intervening years.  This ocean of anger has resulted in the nomination of one Donald Trump for President, something I never thought I would see.  If a Romney Presidency caused me to lose sleep at night, the thought of a Trump Presidency has created a black hole of terror which has begun to consume my waking hours as well as my nightmares.

It's not just the notion that Trump will run this country into the ground with misguided economic policies and a xenophobic foreign policy.  For me, it's the look into the dark heart of America and those who have flocked to his banner.  I had thought we were finally turning the corner away from racism, homophobia, sexism, xenophobia, and the crippling fear of the Bush years, but here we are.  Like we never left  It's a giant black festering mass teeming beneath the red, white, and blue.  It's misappropriated the Gadsden flag and the other symbols of The Revolution.  It's also armed to the teeth and angry.  So angry.

I am once again legitimately frightened of my fellow countrymen.  To me, these were people I disagreed with.  To me, they're still Americans.  To them, I am a traitor.

So what's the answer?  Hillary Clinton sucks, but vote for her.  Vote for sanity.    

Friday, November 16, 2012

Hey dudes and dudettes, Vinnie the Christ here.  Just wanted to take some time out of my busy day chasing broads and slugging down Wild Turkey Rye to let my brothers and sisters know about an important cause.  As y'all know, the East Coast got pounded by a bitch named Sandy a few weeks back and there's still people struggling with recovery.  There's lots of organizations out there that can help, including the American Red Cross and others.

Since joining the Twitsophere, Vinnie came across Theo Rossi's Twitter feed, @TheoRossi.  Theo's a real cool brother who plays Juice on Sons of Anarchy and he's also from Staten Island, which got pummeled by the storm.  Not content to just sit back while his neighbors were struggling, Theo started coordinating efforts to help people out and eventually started a charity to raise money to aid in those efforts. 

You can check out his website at StatenStrong.  You can donate directly and/or buy some pretty cool swag to help the cause.  I just plunked down 25 bones to get a kickass t-shirt to help spread the word.  If you want to volunteer or if you're in need of assistance, there are links on this site to help you out.  If you've got some extra cashola and want to donate to a good cause where the money will end up right in the hands of the people making a difference, then go check this site out.  StatenStrong is also on Facebook and they have their own Twitter feed, @StatenStrong.  I know we're all struggling to a degree, but help out if you can.

Big love to all my East Coast dudes & dudettes!  Stay strong!  If there's any other organizations helping out, Vinnie'll be happy to give them a shout out.  You can e-mail me at or send me a tweet at @VinnieTheChrist.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Trumping the Trump Challenge

Secret Musliming Around
I've been thinking about the Trump thing.  Much as I hate to see the President lower himself to deal with a slimewad like Trump, I think he should give Trump what he wants . . .and then some.  I think not only should he send over his college/law school/passport info, but everything back to preschool.  If his grandparents saved any of his finger paintings or crayon drawings, send copies of those too. 

I have to say, I really enjoy the idea of the Donald and his team of dipshit "investigators" sifting through the detritus of Obama's schooldays.  They can discuss the Islamic imagery in the aforementioned fingerpaintings, crow over ever bad mark the President accrued in deportment, dissect his first tortured efforts at cursive, and lambast him for every math mistake.  After all, shouldn't America know if the President once struggled with fractions?  How can he right the economy if once upon a time he couldn't solve for x?  All of this matters, right? 

The fact of the matter is there's nothing the President can do to satisfy the fringe elements like Donald Trump.  Hell, Trump himself may not believe any of this crap, but it gets his name in the news.  I know Obama is too classy to ever give in to Trump's ridiculous challenge, but there's a small part of me that wishes he would and do it in the snarkiest, most humorous way possible.       

Monday, June 11, 2012

Welcome to Mitt Romney's America

It's 2015, almost three years into President Romney's term.  You're Joe Average American, scuttling home from work to your crackerbox apartment in a medium sized city in America.  You don't drive because gas is $8.00 a gallon and all that "Drill Baby Drill" oil is exported to other countries.  You lost your house in the suburbs after your job was outsourced to India.  All you can get is a manual labor job, just enough to pay the rent and buy bread.  You can't afford milk or meat because the government no longer has a food stamp program.  You've got a pain in the right side of your chest, but you can't afford a doctor and you don't get health insurance. 

On the way home, you pass a couple of teenage hoodlums mugging a man.  You don't bother calling the cops because the depleted police force doesn't come to your neighborhood.  Unless someone is dead and they need to collect the body.  Across town, in the gated community, there's a private police force, ambulance service, and a hospital.  Here in your neighborhood, there isn't even a trash collector.  The hoods beating up your neighbor might have learned respect, education, and job skills in a school but there aren't enough teachers and dropout rates have skyrocketed.  And college?  Fucking forget about college.  No student loans for these kids.  On the other side of town is the nice private school and the charter school for people with means.  Those kids get to go to college.  Someone has to take over the family business or practice when Dad retires after all.

When you get home, the building next to yours is on fire and you pray that it doesn't spread because you can't afford to pay the fire brigade to come put it out.  You trudge up the stairs past the posters that remind you that you're not poor because you have a TV and a refrigerator in your apartment.  Sure the TV is a ten year old model you fished out of a dumpster and the refrigerator came with the apartment and is usually empty, but hey, you're living large.  No right to complain for you.  

Next door, you hear the cries and shrieks of the six kids next door.  There would be seven, but the 20 year old woman who lives there had an illegal abortion in  a back alley.  She hasn't looked so good lately.  Boy, those kids are awful loud.

There's a message on your phone.  Your boss needs you to work a 12 hour shift tomorrow even though you just came off a stretch of 20 straight 12 hour days.  You can't say no because there are no more work week limits.  There's also no minimum wage, so if you complain, the boss can cut your pay.  The sad thing is, there are five people out there who would kill to have your job.  Unions are the stuff of legends.  

You watch some grainy TV, eat some bread, and wash it down with some water that has God knows what in it.  You collapse into bed with your Bible.  You don't have a gun because you can't afford the license fees.  Only rich folks have guns.  Hey, the Bible is still free, even if you know you're on God's bad side.  After all, if you were a good Christian, you'd be rich.     

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


Hey, dudes and dudettes, Vinnie's back! I took an extended vacation to lick my wounds after being defeated soundly in my bid to become Governor of Illinois. I took a trip to the islands to work on my tan and nail some beach bunnies. Needless to say, I didn't get very tan!

So I get back to the States, pick up my hog from the shop, and I'm driving along when I see this:

So now I'm like what the fuck? So I whip out the ol' iPhone and I call up my broseph, intending to rip him a new one for not letting me in on the big event. I mean, I can understand being left out of the family reunions, but this is Armageddon we're talking about here, not brunch at the fucking K of C's. But Ay O, Jesus says he ain't coming back yet, but apparently some whackos have been playing around with the Bible and their calculators and have decided May 21st is the date of my bro's return. Not only that, but they've decided to spend money on advertising the fact with billboards and promotions.

This Camping asshole is the same doucheball who claimed my brother was returning in 1994. Didn't happen then, won't happen now bucko. Here's a thought: instead of wasting money on billboards predicting the end of the world, how about you spend it on feeding the homeless, funding orphanages, or just supporting people in need in your community? Rather than spreading fear, spread some love and compassion for your fellow man. My brother would dig that a whole hell of a lot more. You assholes keep acting like this and he ain't never coming back.

For the rest of you, I declare May 21st to be Anti-Armageddon Day. Grab a beer, grab some booty, and party like it really is the end of the world. I'll be the only Christ who shows up if you do.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

An Important Announcement From Vincent T. Christ

Ay-O motherfuckers, Vinnie's back! Did you miss me? Of course you didn't. I got a little announcement to make. I'm running for Governor of Illinois! Ay-O, how bout that? Vinnie the C's been sitting around watching this country lose its damn mind this past year and so I thought to myself, hey, its time I made a difference. I figure if all of these tea party bozos can win primaries, then surely El Vincenzo might have a chance.

Fuck, some of these people are really nuts, like the chick in Nevada who thinks fluoride in the water is a conspiracy, wants to abolish the IRS, and reinstate Prohibition. In Nevada? Lady, there ain't nothing to do in Nevada but drink, fuck, and gamble. Hell, drinking leads to fucking and gambling. Then there's that other jerk who doesn't like the Civil Rights Act. Besides, look at the other gubernatorial candidates, Bill Brady and Pat Quinn. You've got to ask yourself, how bad could Vinnie really be?

I know that no party would be crazy enough to run ol' Vinnie. First off, no one's gonna believe that I'm really the brother of the man who walks on water. That's cool. I look like an extra from Sons of Anarchy, so I get it. Plus I lean so far left, I make Barack Obama look like an Imperial Grand Wizard. So I'm running as a member of the Demonized Party. Over the next few weeks look for updates on my campaign and I'll present my platform. Your mom will like it. O!